Suggestions for the Groom…

by Sheryl A. Garman,

We are honored to have the opportunity to assist engaged couples in planning and coordinating the most important day of their lives and hope these suggestions will help you to have the exquisite wedding day and life together that you both deserve!

Your Bride…No one knows your bride better than herself. If she tells you that she is upset and crying for no reason, chances are she is experiencing pre-wedding stress and has no idea what is happening to her. This is common and can happen at any time, but is usually more noticeable about one month before the wedding. Many last minute decisions have to be made and the fear of making the wrong decisions and worrying the wedding might not go smoothly may affect her demeanor. Be patient and supportive by asking what it is that you can do to help finalize your wedding plans. Women tend to vocalize frustration and feel much better after venting, so let her talk. Give her a back rub and don’t ask for one in return. Make an appointment, during a time you know she has free, for her to have a manicure and pedicure and drive her to the appointment. Take her to dinner afterwards at your favorite restaurant. Stepping away from the wedding details for a while, even just for an evening, is recommended. Let her know you are there for her by being attentive and loving. For the wedding day, write your bride a love letter. Ask her mother or maid of honor to give it to her when she first wakes up. You can be guaranteed that your letter is something she will cherish her whole life.

Your Bride and Her Family…You are not only marrying the woman you love, you are becoming a member of her family. Make it a point to not only be a wonderful husband to your wife, but a welcomed addition to her family through support and understanding of their lifestyles and needs. Go out of your way to let them know you will do whatever it takes to ensure her happiness.

Your Bride and Your Family…Undeserved stress is taken off your bride’s shoulders when she had the chance to meet your family members prior to the wedding. During your engagement, make plans to attend or organize family events and outings where she can meet everyone before the wedding weekend. Your bride will be thrilled that you thought of her and will love you even more.

Your Best Man…Your best man may ask for some guidance regarding his wedding responsibilities. Be ready to give him a list of tasks that can include ensuring that all the groomsmen have all submitted their measurements to the tuxedo specialist in a timely manner. Before the ceremony, he should be given both wedding rings in one ring box to keep in his pocket, guaranteeing the rings will not be lost through a hole in his pocket or fall into the lining of his tuxedo. He should also have a handkerchief available to hand to the groom should he or the bride start to cry. The best man’s toast at the reception is a time for him to tell a story about you, the single guy he has been a friend to for so many years, and to wish your bride and you a long and happy life together. Ask him to be discreet and selective in the stories he wishes to tell so as not to upset the bride and to keep the toast to no longer than five minutes.

Honor Attendants…Would you like your sister or female friend to stand with you at the altar? Honor attendants can choose a dress to match the color of the groomsmen’s tuxedos or they can wear a dress identical to or similar in style and color as the bridesmaids’ attire.

Your Groomsmen…Groomsmen take their job very seriously and want to do their best for you. Advise them to escort female guests to their seats before the ceremony by extending their right arm first to the oldest woman in a group. Provide them with a list of family members and guests who are being seated in reserved pews. Make sure they know the quantity of wedding programs you have provided and how many guests are attending. If they are not told, the general assumption would most likely be one per guest, but that is not always the case. They can remind guests to sign the guest book, distribute reception direction cards, direct guests to restrooms along with assisting guests in wheelchairs and providing parking information to physically challenged guests.

Your Honeymoon…Many grooms assume the title of “travel agent” and plan the honeymoon. The first few days of your trip should be relaxing to allow time for you both to reenergize after the wedding. You may want to consider waiting a day or two after the wedding to depart so you can pack and take care of last minute household and pet care details. One week before the wedding, reconfirm all of your travel plans and confirmation numbers. Reconfirm your airline flight schedule and airport shuttle or limousine transportation the day before departure. Make copies of your itineraries, hotel information and passports for your parents along with the telephone number and name of your travel agent. Call credit card companies and tell them you will be using their cards on vacation – ask them if there is an additional processing fee associated with using your card at your destinations. Many hotels and airlines will give you free last minute upgrades, but you need to show them a copy of your marriage license to prove you are newlyweds. At the airport, ask if it is possible to be upgraded when you arrive at the gate. If you are surprising your bride with your destination, you may want to ask her mother, friend or maid of honor to help you choose gifts of clothing and shoes that would be appropriate for your new bride to wear on your honeymoon. A few months before the wedding, give your bride an indication as to what type of shoes and clothing she should pack so she has time to plan her wardrobe.